Hey, How are you?
I read your profile and you sound friendly.
Are you interested in baking? It’s one of my favourite pastimes. If you’ve seen my profile, you’ll know that I’m mean and you’ll have noticed my squat elbows. I hope these won’t be a problem for you?
Looking through your photos, you look very charming and extremely curvy. I particularly like your pretty toes.
You’re not violent though, are you? I don’t think so. But from your profile, I can’t quite be sure. I’m really not after somebody violent, so please put me out of my misery.
Let me tell you a funny story that happened to me today. I took my mouse, Orea to the vet and said, “My mouse is cross-eyed… is there anything you can do for her?”
“Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at her.” So, he picked Orea up and examined her eyes, then took her temperature.”
Eventually, he said “I’m going to have to put her down.”
Naturally, I was horried. “You’re going to put her down just because she’s cross-eyed?”
“No, because she’s really heavy.”
Seriously, though. I’ve had a great day, helping vulnerable adults. My job as a detective is really rewarding. I’m told I’m a very intuitive man.
Come out with me this weekend, and I’ll show you just how intuitive I can be.
P.S. There’s a small chance that I might already be romantically entangled. If this is a problem for you, please give me plenty of notice.